


Ink Stains

by xAstoriax



Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Louis, Bullied Louis, Clouds, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gay, Harry is older than Louis, Larry Stylinson Is Real, M/M, Omegle, Photographer Harry, Singer Louis, Starts with highschool, Top Harry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-07-24 10:43:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7505164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xAstoriax/pseuds/xAstoriax
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I suck at starting, that's my excuse. I have the whole story planned out and I promise it will be good but starting just...sucks. I'm sorry :')<br/>Also, I'm posting this story on Wattpad too so if you want to read it there.. https://www.wattpad.com/story/43644069-ink-stains-larry-stylinson</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Boo Bear or Boob Ear?

**Author's Note:**

> I suck at starting, that's my excuse. I have the whole story planned out and I promise it will be good but starting just...sucks. I'm sorry :')  
> Also, I'm posting this story on Wattpad too so if you want to read it there.. https://www.wattpad.com/story/43644069-ink-stains-larry-stylinson

Louis Tomlinson, no lifer, you'd say.

 

A nerd.

A fag.

A weirdo.

None of these words did Louis find offensive. Especially not when Harry Styles would say them. It was really nice to hear Harry's voice. It was really nice to see Harry's green storm when he'd slam Louis against the lockers to give him yet another punch in the stomach. Of course Louis would prefer to have Harry as a friend or something more but this was good too, I guess.

 

Another reason Louis didn't really mind being punched by Harry was...Harry was his boyfriend. Harry didn't know that though.

It was like this.

_FLASHBACK:_

  
Mr. BadBoy and Mr. Innocent met on Omegle,talked for a while and decided to continue the coversation on Kik.

 **Hazza69** : Err...is your username like Boo Bear or Boob Ear? :'D

 **Boobear** : Boo Bear,you idiot xx

 **Hazza69** : You're really pretty in that picture,y'know. ;)

Louis was a bit confused at that because his face wasn't visible on his profile picture. It was him hugging his sister and his face was hidden in the crook of her neck. Only Lottie's face was visible.  
Louis knew Harry was probably the biggest homophobe ever so he decided to play along.

 **Boobear** : Well aren't you a charmer. You're not that bad yourself xx

 **Hazza69** : Thanks babe. So,what's your real name, Boob Ear? :P

 **Boobear** : Charlotte. And yours?

 **Hazza69** : Harry Styles. Is that your boyfriend with you in that pic?

 **Boobear** : No,that's my brother. He's really amazing,you know..

 **Hazza69** : Oh so you're single? ;)

 **Boobear** : Yeah :(

¤-¤-¤-¤

Days passed,weeks,months...Eventually they ended up together. Harry was begging to see him in real life or on Skype but Louis would always find an excuse.

Louis decided to give Harry some clues about his real identity. He didn't want to go straightforward with it because, knowing Harry, he'd freak out and would probably beat Louis up because of it.

 **Boobear** : Hazzy..?

_**Hazza69** is typing..._

**Hazza69** : Yeah,babe?

 **Boobear:I** got beat up today..

 **Hazza69** : WHAT!?  
**Hazza69** : By who?!  
**Hazza69** : I want the person's first and last name,I'll kill the bitch. How dare they hurt my princess!

 **Boobear** : It's fine,Haz. My stomach just hurts a lot.

 **Hazza69** : Why would anyone hurt you? :(

 **Boobear** : He said I'm a fag..

 **Hazza69** : Uhm,but you're a girl?

 **Boobear** : I have to go to dinner,talk later. Bye xx

 **Hazza69** : No, Charlotte, come back here and tell me the whole story!  
**Hazza69** : Charlotte!  
**Hazza69:** You're really freaking me out sometimes-.-  
**Hazza69:** What's with you lately..  
**Hazza69:** Charlotte,I can see you're reading messages,answer me!  
**Hazza69:** Fine,be like that..bye.

Louis whimpered quietly and burried his face in the pillow,soaking it with tears like hundred times before. It was hard for the boy to get Harry out of his head.

''I-I'm just a fag..a nerd..a failure. E-Everything Harry calls me in s-school..i-it's true. H-He'd never like m-me in real life. I'm a boy. E-Even if he w-was gay...h-he'd never want me. H-He's way out of my league,Teddy.'' Louis mumbled to his stuffed animal,considering him his only friend. Teddy knew each and every one of Louis' secrets,his darkest fears and forbidden wishes.

Teddy never answered though. Teddy couldn't hug him. And Louis needed a hug.

''I hate myself..'' Louis sighed,wiping his tears away. ''Why can't I be a girl? Or at least straight.''

''Nerds and punks don't go together,Teddy.''


	2. Secrets (Louis' P.O.V.)

''Niall..'' I whispered to the boy who sat in front of me. I tried not to be too loud so I wouldn't disturb Mr.Payne's class.

''Niall.'' I repeated,a bit louder but still no response. Is he deaf or something?

''Horan!'' I whisper-shouted,making few of my classmates turn and glare at me.  I immediately regretted it but luckily, Niall turned, looking at me like I'm stupid or something.

''Louis, must you speak while I'm staring at Mr.Payne?!'' He glared at me,whispering so no one but me could hear him.

I only rolled my eyes, sighing. I explained so many times that his teacher crush can never be with him because that's just wrong. Niall understands that but he said Mr. Payne's just a really nice view.

''Sorry.'' I mumbled. ''I have to talk to you.''

''Now?!''

''I..uh..yeah.'' The thing with Harry has been bothering me for quite a while and I feel really bad for not telling this to my best friend.

''Tomlinson, Horan! Do you have anything to share with the rest of the class?'' We both winced when we heard Mr.Payne raising his voice. How dare he? He's my favorite teacher. I'm hurt now.

Niall turned back around, probably blushing like a mad man.

I bowed my head down, fixing my glasses and pulling my sleeves over my hands, my teeth sinking into my lower lip. I'm honestly surprised it's not bruised already from how much I'm biting it.

There's still twenty minutes left but I just can't focus right now. I'm looking at Mr. Payne though. But it's like I'm looking right through him, not hearing anything the man's saying. 

''Louis.'' I'm probably imagining. ''Louis, snap out of it!'' I felt a harsh smack on the back of my head and I pouted,realising it was Niall. 

''Bully.'' I mumbled,making him roll his eyes.

''What is with you? You've been zoning out for past few months at random moments.''

''I have to tell you something..''  I'm not sure how to explain though. Will he judge me? I mean, he knows Harry is making my life miserable since the first day of school.

Niall began dragging me down the hallway. ''Yeah, you'll speak when we get food. I'm starving.''

''I'm not really hungry..'' I shook my head, making sure to hold my glasses, afraid they might fall off and break while Niall's pulling me through the crowd. Mum had a hard time finding money for them anyway,I don't want to break them.

''Lou Lou,you promised you'll start eating.'' Irish boy frowned.

''I will. Just...not today.'' 

I wasn't focusing on people around us who were rushing to canteen and I didn't even notice when Niall's hand broke away from mine. But I definetely noticed when my back hit the lockers and when I saw those pink lips smirking down at me. Harry.

''Gay boy, you're going somewhere?'' He chuckled.

I parted my lips slightly to say something but no words came out and I just stared at him like a lamb would stare at wolf. 

''What? Are you a mute all of a sudden? Am I that hot? Like what you see, fag?'' His voice was raspy, I knew he was just trying to make fun of me but I nodded anyway. Good job, idiot.

I got a reward from Harry, a slap. Very manly.

I whimpered and looked down, feeling ashamed. I didn't expect help from Niall. Even if he wanted, he couldn't help since he was held by Harry's errand boys. They weren't some buff guys really. They just had that terrifying note in their posture and darkness in their eyes. You'd get shivers down your spine every time you'd see them.

''Well, get that gay crap out of your head, you'll never get pussy if you continue like that. That's just disgusting. Quit being a cockslut and then maybe I'll let you hang out with us.'' He grinned. I know,he's a jerk but...I like that jerk. He's a completely different person when we are talking on Kik. He's sweet and caring and quite romantic to be honest. Also very perverted,but you know..I can't really complain. 

''By the way, you finished my math homework?'' He asked. I consider myself lucky today, he's not pissed off so he isn't taking it out on me. Usually, I'd be curled on the floor by now.

I quickly nodded and pointed at my backpack which was laying on the floor. I didn't dare to move yet and I just stared at him fearfully. He seemed to like it a lot when he has me wincing and whimpering and being afraid. I don't understand why he is doing that but no one is really reacting when they see him bullying me in the hallways.

Sometimes they even encourage him.

All because I'm gay. And a nerd, as they say. But I don't really have perfect grades, I don't live for studying as they say. It's just my outside look, I think. Big glasses and weird clothes plus a lot of time spent in the library. 

Library is one place where I can just...get away. You open a book,meet a character,enter a new world with them and you forget everything about the negativity and harshness of the outside world. 

Harry roughly shoved me to the ground on my backpack and I quickly took his homework out,handing it to him shakily,not wanting to piss him off by making him wait too long.

''Good boy.'' He mumbled while his eyes scanned through the homework I did for him.

I know he didn't mean anything good by praising me but I just couldn't help but smile. The curly one espied it,causing me to quickly doff it.

I expected at least a slap or a mean word but nothing really came from Harry's side. I was befuddled but I didn't question it since it wasn't a bad thing.

''Let's go,boys.'' He mumbled,staring at me for a second before he turned away,leaving with his ''gang'' or whatever they were.

Niall rushed to me,making me snap out of my trance. ''Lou Lou,are you okay?'' He helped me up.

''Yeah..just..I don't know,I expected something worse to happen.'' I shrugged.

''Are you complaining?'' Niall didn't sound very understanding.

''No,no,of course not. It was a bit awkward,don't you think? Usually he's all tough and rough but today he was...'' I frowned,not really sure how to describe but Niall seemed to understand since he was there,watching it all.

Niall shrugged,intertwining our fingers together,leading me through the canteen doors.

It's not weird,we're best friends.

Once Niall got his food,we sat down in the corner of the canteen,all tables were taken and those which had empty seats are not for boys like us. At least not boys like me. Niall is good,they just dislike him because he hangs out with main nerd - me.

''Open.'' Niall commanded as he put the spoon full of something in front of my mouth.

I shook my head.

''Louis,I swear to God,I'll yell and make a scene if you won't eat. I'll take away all of your books and you'll never meet Tom Felton. Now,open your mouth.''

''Meanie.'' I mumbled and parted my lips. I guess one spoon of soup won't kill me.

He grinned proudly and hugged me. ''I'm proud of you.'' 

I just huffed and glared at my lap,angry at myself for letting him win.

''Well,what do you want to tell me,Lou Lou?'' He asked,getting back to eating his food.

I took a deep breath,trying to buy myself some time to compose a normal sentence in my mind so it wouldn't sound that weird.

''Err... '' I started. Wow, such eloquence. Mum would be proud of me.

Niall glanced at me, raising his eyebrow as he waited for me to verbalize my thoughts.

''I'm dating Harry Styles.'' I rushed it out and let out a breath I was holding in.

Niall spit his soup out, luckily not on me. ''WHAT!?'' 

My eyes widened and I slapped my hand over his mouth. ''Speak quietly,will you?'' 

He pushed my hand away and stared at me. ''You're what..?''

''It's a long story. He thinks I'm a girl.'' 

''Uh,well can't he see you're not?''

''No. It's complicated.''

''Louis William Tomlinson, I will smack you if you don't start explaining yourself right now.''

''Yes,mum.'' I rolled my eyes at him,making him huff. ''Well,we met on Omegle. For some reason he was under the tag 'harrypotter'. I didn't know he could read.'' I mumbled the last part,it was kind of a joke though I was really surprised.

''Well,we talked for hours and got to know each other. Everything but our real names, gender and age. We decided to move to kik and talked there. He thought I was a girl because I had a picture with Lottie and only her face was showing. I decided to just go with it because I knew it was the only way to talk to Harry and, Niall, I really like him, you know that. So don't judge.'' I took another breath before continuing. ''I didn't think it would mean anything but weeks later he..he asked me to date him and said he really likes me as a person. I was being myself, Niall. He likes who I am. But of course,he thinks I'm a girl and he even said he hates gay people. I told him that I have a brother who is gay and told him he's a really nice person and he acted weird and said he doesn't want to talk about that subject. Anyway,for past month all he wants is to meet me in real life and I'm running out of excuses.''

Niall looked shocked but also quite weirded out. I bit my lip and nudged him. ''Earth to Niall.''

Niall blinked. ''Well that's...uhm...nice,I guess.'' 

''Okay and now your honest opinion?'' I asked softly.

He hit my shoulder. ''Louis,you're an idiot! Do you even realise what he might do to you if he finds out!? Are you out of your fucking mind!?''

I gasped. ''Niall, no swearing!'' 

''Fucking crap,Louis. What are you going to do !?''

''I kind of need your advice.''

''Break up with him.''

''But-''

''No buts, Louis. He is fucking dangerous. Stop messing around with Harry.''

''Oh come on, I'm not that scary, am I?'' Oh that cliché moment when they hear you talking behind their back.

Niall and I both froze.

''What were you talking about, love birds?'' Harry asked,crossing his arms.

''W-We,uh,n-nothing.'' Niall mumbled. ''T-There's just t-this f-friend of mine n-named Harry.''

Harry rolled his eyes. ''Listen, fags. If I hear you mentioning my name again, I will rip both of your heads off.'' He growled at us. Ah, there he is, the old Harry.

We quickly nodded and he left to sit with his friends again. My heart was beating hard and fast. I didn't really know if it was because I was afraid or in love. 

''How can you even like him?'' Niall whispered,looking at me with disgust written all over his face.

''I don't know..'' I bowed my head down. ''I-I see something in him no one else does. I look past his bad boy mask. It's not real Harry,I'm sure. He's just living by the old saying ' Life is a game. Be a toy or be a player. ' He doesn't want to be a toy.'' I know this for a fact. Harry told me on Kik. Well, he told Charlotte.


	3. Real

**Hazza69:** Charlotte,talk to me. 

 **Boobear:** Harry, I'm busy.

 **Hazza69:** With what?

 **Boobear:** I'm hanging out with my friend.

 **Hazza69:** Name?

 **Boobear:** Niall.

 **Hazza69:** Haha,that's the name of this one fag in my school 

 **Boobear:** He is not a fag !

 **Hazza69:** What do you know? You should see him,he's hanging out with this stupid gay guy, ew.

Louis' heart clenched and he just stared at the last part of Harry's message. He bit his lip,trying not to cry. He should really end this, just like Niall told him.

 **Boobear:** Harry..I think we should break up.

 **Hazza69:** What!!? No.  
Hazza69: You don't have a permission to break up with me.  
 **Hazza69** : Why would you do that?

 **Boobear:** Because..well,I lied to you.

 **Hazza69:** About what?

 **Boobear:** About my name.  
 **Boobear** : And face.  
 **Boobear:** And gender.

 **Hazza69:** Wait...you're a dude?

 **Boobear:** Please don't freak out. Just, listen. 

 **Hazza69:** Oh my fucking hell, fuck off you freak.

Maybe it didn't go as Louis planned. No, it definetely didn't go as Louis planned. Well, since he already lost him, he'll just go with what he wanted to say even though he was sure Harry will kill him in school.

 **Boobear:** I'm Louis.

Harry wanted to be angry, he wanted to yell and punch Louis so many times. But he couldn't get himself to be really angry now. The truth was...he did fall for a person who was messaging him. The truth was,the girl in the picture wasn't that hot or anything, Harry just really liked her..well,his..personality.

 **Hazza69:** Meet me behind the school in 15 minutes. You better drag your lying fag ass there or I'll break your neck.

 **Boobear:** Lovely.

Of course Louis wasn't that happy now with meeting up with Harry,he knew what was waiting for him. He'd rather run away,he didn't need this in his life now.

''If you try to run away from me one more fucking time,I'll tie you to the bed and set this whole house on fire!!'' Louis heard his father yelling at his mum. Again. He closed his eyes for a moment,a little whimper leaving his lips. He was small and fragile,there was no way he could help. His father would crush him. Yes,he stood between them once. But only once. And ended up wih few broken ribs. Funny,doctors bought the story about him falling down the stairs. He talked to his mum,he wanted to tell someone. He wanted to help. She refused,telling him it's alright,telling him not to be afraid because she has everything under control. That was a filthy lie. She was losing the grip on her life,it was slipping out of her hands every time Louis' father would yell at her or when it went to extremes,when he'd punch her or when he'd hit Louis. Louis never told his mum though. He knew it would only make her more sad and Louis hated that. 

Louis put on his shoes and tried to be as quiet as possible when he walked down the stairs. He could hear his mother sobbing. She locked herself in the bedroom,thinking she's hidden from everyone,thinking no one can hear her breaking down. But Louis could hear her. It made his heart ache.

He knew he just has to let her let it all out and he walked out of the house,gently closing the door. There was no car parked in front of the house. That means his dad already left to get another round of drinks with his friends.

Louis shoved his hands in his pockets,frowning before he brought one of his hands up to fix his glasses. He didn't want to deal with more yelling. Not today,not tomorrow,not ever. But like anyone asks Louis what he wants..

As soon as he got behind the school he saw the curly mess on Harry's head and him leaning against the wall as he stared at the sky with his hands in pockets. He seemed like he's deep in thought. Louis' heart once again went crazy and his legs didn't want to work. He couldn't bring himself closer to Harry. His lips parted,words trying to find their way out.

''H-Harry?'' He asked softly,his stomach doing a flip.

Harry gritted his teeth and closed his eyes for a second before he glared at Louis,making him freeze.

Before Louis knew what was happening,Harry slammed him against the wall,making him whimper. He didn't dare to look at Harry,he just wanted to hide and cry.

''You stupid faggot,I got your disease! Fucking freak! How dare you..'' Harry's voice went a little quieter. ''How dare you make me gay..'' He said and Louis' eyes widened,he looked up at Harry.

''W-What?''

Now that Louis got a better look at Harry,Harry looked pretty freaked out and terrified rather than angry.

''I fell for the person who was messaging me for months on Kik. I..I thought it was a girl. But it was you. That means I fell for you. As far as I know,you're a boy. That means I'm gay and it's your fucking fault!'' Harry's voice was a bit shaky as he kept gripping Louis' shirt,holding him against the wall.

Louis didn't seem that scared anymore,just shocked. ''You don't have to worry about that anymore, Harry. You hate me.'' He shrugged.

''That..no,that's not true.'' Harry shook his head. ''You don't understand..'' He groaned,letting Louis fall down. He sat beside him and burried his face in his hands.

''But you're beating me up almost every day.'' Louis frowned. ''You're homophobic. You call me fag all the time.''

Harry groaned again. ''I told you,you don't understand. I'm sick..'' He said quietly. ''I'm gay.'' 

''Being gay is not a sickness.'' Louis felt really offended.

''My parents said it is. '' Harry looked at Louis.

''Your parents are stupid. I'm sorry but they are.'' Louis said. ''There's nothing wrong with being gay. It's not a decision. Just like a skin color isn't.''

Harry looked down. ''I know. It's just..they expect me to be like Gemma. She's my sister. She's always perfect and she's 'normal' and stuff..'' He sighed.

''You're normal too. Being gay is normal,Harry.'' Louis said. This conversation wasn't what Louis expected. He expected punches and screams and insults,not coming out time. ''And well...you're perfect to me.'' Louis blushed,looking away.

Harry shook his head,chuckling. ''Don't say that,I made your life living hell.''

''My life was hell without you anyway.'' Louis sighed. 

''What do you mean?''

''Doesn't matter. So why were you doing that anyway? It's not really normal you know..'' Louis said. ''You can't just 'beat the gay out of me'.''

''I don't know,Louis. It's crazy. I don't know what I was doing. I guess I was taking my anger out on you.''

''Who were you angry at?''

''Everyone,I guess. Myself mostly.''

''Well,do you hate me then? I'm not sure I get it.''

''No.''

''How are you feeling then? Do you want to hit me?''

''I want to kiss you.'' Harry said,making Louis' jaw drop.

''But-''

''Louis,I was afraid,okay?! I was hurting you because I was afraid of those feelings I have for you!'' Harry yelled out,breathing heavily. He had a hard time admitting his feelings to himself and look at him now,spilling it in front of Louis. ''And some other things but that's a completely different subject.''

Harry sighed,laying his head against the wall. ''I want those feelings to fuck off. I want to be normal.''

''But you are normal.''

''You know what I meant.'' 

Louis stayed silent,both of them staring in different directions,both of them feeling the same feelings,both of them unhappy with the situation they are in.

''I have to go.'' Harry mumbled finally after minutes of painful silence.

Louis stayed quiet,just sitting there as Harry got up.

''Aren't you going home too?'' Harry asked.

Louis shook his head. ''No.''

''Why not?''

''I don't want to go home.'' Louis said quietly,feeling his throat being dry.

''Why not?''

Louis just shook his head,closing his eyes to keep the tears in. Harry couldn't stay cold when he saw the blue eyed boy in pain. He sat beside him again.

''Louis,talk to me.''

''Go home,Harry,'' Louis choked out.

''Are you okay?''

That's when Louis broke down in tears and began sobbing uncontrollably,feeling so exposed and weak because his tears betrayed him.

He wasn't able to smile even when Harry wrapped his arms around him, so he just let himself cry into Harry's chest.


	4. Wonderwall

''Lou, do you want to hang out after school?'' Niall asked, his mouth full. 

Louis looked at Niall, quite disgusted by how the boy had very little to no manners.

''Uh, I have a lot of homework.'' Louis mumbled,sighing and looking down to the book in his hands. He stared at letters but he just couldn't focus on sentences written there. All he could think about is his secret meeting with Harry he's having after school.

''What?'' Niall raised an eyebrow, staring at the blue eyed boy. ''Louis,we are in the same class. We have no homework.''

Louis' heart almost stopped but he tried to play it cool. ''I...I have stuff from yesterday and that essay and..yeah..I have stuff from yesterday.''

Niall didn't question it. It was really odd though. Louis always did everything in time. But Niall guessed anyone can get a little lazy sometimes.

''Okay, well, another day then.'' He shrugged. ''I'll talk to Mr. Payne today.'' Niall smiled, his teeth showing.

Louis looked up at Niall, unsure if he should be supportive or not. ''Niall...we discussed this.'' He sighed.

''I know but I think he has a thing for me too. He looked at me today! Louis,he watched me for the whole fucking second!'' 

''Ni, you coughed so loudly, it was obvious you want him to look at you.''

Niall grinned and shrugged. ''I'm..not that ashamed.'' He said. ''But now seriously, Louis. He's not that old. We could be a secret.''

''All secrets get revealed eventually. He can get fired or get in jail and you can get expelled.'' Louis replied, putting his book down,knowing it's no use in trying to read it when he can't concentrate.

Niall stood up. ''You're just jealous of me because that curly idiot doesn't want you.'' He said, pushing his chair towards the desk and picking his bag up,throwing it over his shoulder as Louis just stared at him.

''Y-You're really rude.'' Louis frowned,not knowing how to defend himself. He didn't want to throw insults at his best friend. He pulled the sleeves of his hoodie over his hands and looked down,feeling a little angry and hurt.

''Man up.'' Niall rolled his eyes. ''Louis, if you want to stay in your comfort zone then fine. But don't stop me from what I want just because you wouldn't do it.''

''I'm just t-trying to protect y-you.'' Louis mumbled, wondering what's so wrong with that. ''I know it won't work and you'll end up hurt and you know who you'll come crying to? Me.''

Niall shook his head,walking away from Louis. Louis couldn't believe Niall actually left him all alone in the canteen. Now he is even easier target for other idiots.

Louis whined quietly,taking in a small breath,taking his book in his hands again,trying to zone out of the real world. He managed to do just that for few minutes before his book was taken away and thrown God knows where.

He looked up,his lips slightly parted,ready to protest but he just choked on air when he saw Harry standing in front of him. Oddly, Zayn wasn't with Harry. No one really paid attention to them because they were all so used to Louis getting bullied that people just started ignroing his whimpers and tears.

''D-Do you want m-me to m-move?'' Louis asked,feeling a little scared because you never know what is going through Harry's mind. 

''No, stay.''

''I-I can g-go sit on the floor. It's n-not a problem.'' Louis said,already getting up and picking his bag up.

''Stay.'' Harry repeated,Louis always obeyed Harry's commands like a dog would obey his owner's commands.

''I want to talk to you.'' Harry mumbled,sitting beside Louis,praying no one will ever mention anything about him hanging out with a fag.

Louis shook his head. ''We said after school.'' He whispered. ''People will be weirded out if they see you with me..'' 

''True. Look,you're a really nice guy but I don't want you near me,okay?''

''W-What? B-But what about y-yesterday?'' Louis whimpered,making Harry shush him so no one would hear them.

''I was thinking about it.'' Harry sighed. ''I can't have my family hate me because of..you.'' He said,staring at Louis while Louis stared at the ground,his heart feeling like it's being ripped into pieces. That's what you get for getting your hopes up.

''And I have to think about my reputation. I can't have people thinking I'm gay.'' Harry said and Louis couldn't keep quiet like he is supposed to.

''But you /are/ gay.'' Louis said,getting Harry's nails gripping Louis' thigh. 

''Keep it down,will you?'' Harry growled quietly at him.

Louis whimpered and looked down,feeling so fragile. He hated himself for being so weak. Why did he have to fall for a jerk?

''As I was saying,I have to think about myself. You'd be bad for my reputation.'' Harry finished. ''Do you understand now why we wouldn't work well together?''

Louis bit his lip,closing his eyes when he felt damn tears threatening to fall. He nodded. ''I-I'm sorry.'' He whispered.

Harry sighed and slipped a small paper in Louis' hand,making sure no one is watching them before he did that.

'Forest. Today at 5. Don't be late. xx '

Louis frowned at the letters written on the paper and he was about to ask Harry something but Harry was already gone. He disappeared somewhere in the crowd,leaving Louis alone and confused.

Louis just couldn't understand how Harry's mind was working. He's saying one thing but doing the opposite. He's hitting him but wishing he could kiss Louis. He keeps playing this weird game. Dangerous game. Because he was playing with Louis' feelings. He was messing with Louis' mind. 

Louis' first instinct was to tell Niall but of course,Niall couldn't be bothered right now,he was busy flirting with someone who'll never be his. What a fool.

Three whole hours Louis was trying to figure out what to wear. He wanted to look pretty for Harry but then again,he didn't want to seem like he's trying too hard. He didn't even know if he's dressing for a happy or sad occasion. He went with a safe combination of sweatpants and a hoodie.

As he was approaching the forest,his heart was beating faster and faster.

Thousands of thoughts invading his mind.

His breathing shaky.

What's going to happen? Is Harry going to prank him and never show up? Is he going to get beaten up and left there? 

Harry waited for him right where the forest was starting. He was leaning against the tree with his hands in his pockets like usually.

Louis' mind kept telling him to turn away and save himself from embarassement and pain. He was about to turn away but Harry spotted him and pushed himself away from the tree. Louis took in a deep breath and walked to Harry,swallowing thickly before muttering a soft 'hi'.

Harry looked him up and down,biting his lip. Louis wasn't sure if Harry liked it or if he was disgusted so he tried to defend himself.

''I-I was in a hurry.'' Oh what a lie. He spent hours digging through his closet but Louis didn't have much and what he had was either too small on him or was too ridiculous.

''I like it.'' Harry smiled,seeing how much his opinion meant to Louis.

Louis blushed and looked down. He couldn't help but to wonder if Harry is trying to mock him.

Harry offered his hand to Louis. ''Let's go.'' 

Louis stared at Harry's hand with wide eyes. ''I don't bite,Louis.'' Why is Harry so different and sweet when they are alone?

Of course he took his hand. Who wouldn't take his hand? It's Harry Styles,for fuck's sake.

Harry began leading him deeper into the forest. Leaves were a nice shade of orange,brown and yellow. It wasn't that cold. It was just perfect for taking a walk and getting away from people.

''Where are you taking me?'' Louis finally asked,glancing at Harry.

''I'm kidnapping you.'' Harry replied,dead serious as he watched Louis' expression changing and fear taking over. Harry began laughing,holding his stomach when it started to hurt. ''I'm just joking,calm down.'' He chuckled and Louis sent him a glare.

''That's not funny.'' Louis said,relaxing once again,thinking how weird Harry actually is.

Harry apologised,stopping once they were far enough and he was sure no one would find them here. He sat down and pulled Louis onto his lap,making Louis gasp.

Harry chuckled. ''Well you should get used to sitting on my lap if you want to be my boyfriend.''

Louis frowned and looked at Harry. ''You're confusing me.'' He whined. ''In school you told me to stay away and that I'm bad for your repu-''

''You are.'' Harry cut him off. Louis looked down,fiddling with his fingers. ''That's why I have a new plan for us.'' 

''What plan?''

''Can you keep a secret,Louis?''

Louis nodded,looking into Harry's eyes now like he's trying to read his thoughts. He really wanted to know what was going through Harry's stupid head.

''Well,from now on,I'm your secret.'' Harry said,intertwining his fingers with Louis',bringing Louis' hand to his own lips,leaving a small kiss there.

Louis wasn't sure how to react,he was trying to process everything,trying to do quick pros and cons in his head.

''Deal?'' Harry asked and Louis nodded slowly.

''Good. Now kiss me, you fool.'' Harry smiled brightly.

Louis felt his heart skipping few beats,he thought he was having a heart attack. Maybe it's that dream again. But it feels so real. Kiss him, idiot. 

Louis had his practice with Niall already. They'd occasionally kiss when they had sleepovers. Just because they were curious what it'd feel like and they figured it'd be better if they teach each other than embarass themselves when the time for their real ''first'' kisses comes.

Before Louis' brain was able to even end its debate,Louis was leaning closer to Harry,feeling so nervous as his eyes fell to Harry's lips and then up to his eyes again.

Louis felt thousands of butterflies in his stomach when his lips brushed against Harry's. Neither one of them had courage to start. They just tested each other, edged one another to start. Harry was the first one to lose it and he ended up smashing his lips against Louis'. Louis' fingers found their way to Harry's curls, gripping them as he let out a small whimper against Harry's lips. They were both so lost in the kiss,so addicted to it. One of Harry's hands was resting on Louis' hip while the other one was on Louis' soft cheek. 

The kiss didn't feel awkward like Harry thought it would. It felt...natural. Like their lips were made for that. They moved perfectly against each other. 

''Harry..'' Louis whispered against Harry's lips as he slightly panted when they broke the kiss.

''Louis..'' Harry whispered back,staring into Louis' eyes,his hands cupping Louis' cheeks.

Louis thought he finally found his wonderwall. And Harry thought he found one too.


	5. Monsters

Another 'normal' day in school. Louis was just another broken soul in the crowd. Usually no one would notice him except his bullies but today everyone seemed so pissed off and their target was Louis. Wherever he'd go,he'd just get shoved or yelled at or his books would be thrown everywhere or he'd simply get laughed at because of his glasses.

He really didn't want to be here. Especially not after yesterday.  
His father attacked Louis once again.   
Littered him with bruises and bathed him in insults that spilled past his lips so easily.

Luckily,none of those bruises were on his face so he easily covered them with one of his long sweaters. He wouldn't want Niall asking questions and worrying. But then again,he hasn't talked to him for few days. 

Niall would just walk past him or would ignore him when Louis tried to say something. It was really rude, in Louis' opinion. 

Louis let out a weak gasp and his books fell on the cold floor when his back hit the wall. His eyes lit up when he saw Harry but Zayn was beside him so Louis knew what was about to happen. ''Harry..'' He whimpered. ''Please,not today.'' Louis didn't know if he could take more punches today. His body felt so weak and tired. It hurt to even breathe. 

The curly one didn't seem to care or actually he didn't seem to pay attention to Louis' voice. Because if he did,he'd be able to hear Louis' voice breaking and he would know something's not right.

Before Harry's fist managed to connect with Louis' stomach,Louis burst into tears. It was breaking Harry's heart but it only made Zayn laugh more and encourage Harry to hit him already.

Louis was too weak now to keep himself on his feet and he just slid from Harry's grip and onto the floor,his shoulders shaking as he sobbed uncontrollably. He hugged his knees,not caring about world around him. He just wanted to disappear.

People who are supposed to love him and look after him are the ones who are hurting him the most. Not just physically,Louis couldn't take it emotionally either.

Zayn couldn't understand why Louis was crying when Harry didn't even touch him yet. Zayn wasn't stupid,he knew when enough is enough and when to stop. It was just fun to mess with Louis but this wasn't fun at all right now. 

Harry looked back at Zayn carefully,unsure what Zayn thinks about it. He needed Zayn for popularity and Zayn was teaching him how to ''be cool''. In reality,Zayn was just teaching him how to be trash.

''Uhm,Louis?'' Harry asked carefully,staring at the smaller boy on the ground.

No answer. Just sobs and whimpers.

''Kid,are you okay?'' Zayn asked, trying not to sound too concerned.

It was funny how his bullies were the one to ask him if he's alright. Something they shouldn't care about.

''L-Leave m-me alone.'' Louis choked out,curling more to himself.

Harry went to kneel down and put his hand on his shoulder but Louis panicked and yelled at him.

''Don't touch me!!'' 

Harry stared at him with lips parted in shock. He made a mental note to talk about that with Louis later. He just sighed. ''Whatever, kid.'' He rolled his eyes,standing up and shoving his hands in his pockets,proceeding down the hallway with Zayn.

Louis couldn't believe Harry walked away from him just like that. So much about their love.

''Louis?'' Irish boy was just running to class when he saw Louis crying on the floor,books all around him. He couldn't just let him cry. He still cared for the boy even though Louis didn't support his relationship with Mr.Payne. Yes,it was a relationship now. Kind of.

Niall sat down beside Louis, worry written all over his face. ''Lou?'' He asked quietly,placing his hand over Louis'.

Louis' sobs echoed through now empty hallway as he quickly hugged Niall,crying into his chest. Niall didn't ask any questions, he just held him and stroked through his messy hair.

''It's okay,Lou. You're not alone. I'm here,love. You're safe.'' Niall whispered into Louis' ear,knowing Louis can't speak right now.

''I want to disappear.'' Louis whispered when his sobs finally died down and he couldn't feel the pain. He couldn't feel anything at all,just that strong need of disappearing.

''What? Louis, no. Why would you want that?'' Niall frowned,pulling away to look Louis in the eyes.

They looked so tired and those were not the eyes Niall knew. Yes, Louis didn't have an easy life but Niall never heard him complaining. It was Niall's mistake to conclude Louis was okay.

___________

5 pm, forest. Their usual place. 

Louis had mixed feelings about Harry right now. He wanted to see him,hug him and cry into his chest while being held by him. Other side of Louis wanted to slap Harry and scream at him and leave him.

He guessed the first side of him won because he was sitting on the ground with his back against the tree as he waited for the curly haired idiot.

Louis' eyes stared at one particular leaf for half an hour now, his eyes were still red from crying and his head felt like it will explode. Not just because of numerous thoughts and what ifs but also because it hurt like hell from the hit against the wall earlier that day.

Louis could hear leaves cracking under Harry's slow footsteps. He could sense the hestitation in them. Like Harry could tell Louis has this one side that doesn't want him there. 

''Princess?'' Harry whispered, standing in front of Louis, looking down at the broken boy.

Shivers ran down Louis' spine just from hearing Harry's voice. He wasn't afraid. Those were good shivers that made him want to jump into Harry's strong arms and just stay there forever.

He couldn't do that though, not until he finds out Harry's true feelings. He wanted explanation for Harry's behavior. Yes, they were in a real relationship for just few days but he was already sick of hiding and getting punched by him in front of everyone and then kissed when others weren't around.

It wasn't the only thing that bothered Louis but that was the one he could solve right now.

''Lou,talk to me for fucks sake!'' Harry snapped after minutes of silence, that was when bad shivers ran down Louis' spine and he flinched.

''Harry, do you really love me like you told me you do?'' Louis asked quietly, glancing at his..well,whatever they were at this point. He wasn't really sure. He couldn't be sure until Harry convinces him that those feelings are true.

''Yes.'' Harry answered simply but frowned at Louis. ''Baby, what's wrong with you today?''

Louis shrugged,sighing as he lowered his gaze. ''I guess I'm just tired, I don't know.''

Harry attempted to pull Louis to himself but he pressed Louis' bruises,making Louis whimper and pull away quickly.  

''Pull your shirt up. Now.'' Harry demanded, knowing damn right from experience what it is.

Louis shook his head,getting up, tears already racing down his cheeks. Harry stood up too, wrapping his arms gently around Louis. 

Louis felt at home when he was in Harry's arms. He felt safe. He knew Harry wouldn't let anyone hurt him. Harry would hurt him himself.

Louis didn't dare to move though. He stayed in Harry's arms, letting himself sob while gripping Harry's shirt in his small fists. 

''Lou..'' Harry whispered, his heart clenching at the thought of Louis getting hit at home. He got sick at the next thought that reminded him that he was hurting him too. Every day for three years. Since the moment Louis walked into that damn school.

It took hours to get Louis to tell him the whole story. The smaller boy was stuttering and sobbing so to say a few proper sentences took good 10 minutes. 

Harry couldn't let him stay in a family like that. But he also couldn't let him stay at his house. They'd be in much deeper shit if Harry's parents would find out about them. Also,Louis told him he doesn't want to leave his sisters and his mother with a man like that.

''Love, we should call the police. It's not worth it. You're risking your and your family's lives. We have to tell someone. Never keep quiet about things like that, Louis.'' Harry said,holding Louis' hands,green staring at blue.

''I-I can't. He'd come back. It w-would be w-worse. I don't w-want to r-risk. I'm scared.'' 

''It's okay to be scared Louis. Everyone is afraid of the monsters. The man you have in the house is no where near human. He is a monster.'' Harry said, knowing how it feels to live with an abusive father. Harry's family was lucky though,they got rid of him before it was too late.

''All monsters are human.'' Louis mumbled.

Harry just nodded, his arms wrapped around Louis' fragile body. 

''Harry..'' Louis whispered. ''Come home with me tonight. You can come in through the back door and we'll be locked in my room. I don't want to be alone.'' He whimpered,holding onto Harry's shirt.

Harry placed a soft little kiss on Louis' forehead. '' Don't worry, princess. I'll go with you. I'll protect you.'' He said softly. He could just tell his parents he's staying at Zayn's place. They won't care.

''Thank you.'' Harry heard Louis' whisper.

Harry swore to himself that second, he'll protect Louis from everything and everyone. No more hiding in school. Louis was through enough crap in his life. He needed support. Not just anyone's support. 

Harry's support.

And Harry promised to be there for his princess.

He knew that one more bad thing could push Louis over the edge and he knew he could easily lose him.

''I won't let you slip away from me.'' Harry said quietly,hugging Louis a little tighter.

He couldn't understand how one boy could make Harry feel so many different feelings at once. 

It was amazing. 

And maybe even overwhelming.


	6. Puppeteer

''Harry..'' Tiny blue eyed boy whispered, snuggling closer to the curly lad. They were laying in bed, listening to loud yells of Louis' father. ''I'm scared.''

Harry didn't say a word, just held Louis against his chest, carefully listening and then flinching when there was a loud sound of someone slamming the door. Soon after, the sound of the car engine followed and Louis' father's old Mazda disappeared into the night.

Louis knew his family can stay calm for next few days because that's just what always happened.

_Yelling,slamming the door and disappearing into the night for the next few days._

_And then the drunk idiot would come back and stuff would just get worse. If that was even possible._

''It's okay..you're safe.'' Harry said softly, making sure to leave few little kisses on Louis' neck,knowing that would calm him phisically. And it really did, Louis let out a small sigh and relaxed against Harry, tilting his head slightly to allow him more space to kiss.

Harry's lips easily traveled over smooth skin of Louis' face before following the jaw line, ending up on Louis' lips. Every second of the kiss was as exciting and as breathtaking as their first kiss.

Harry loved how tiny Louis was. He was able to pick him up and carry him around. Or like now, he pulled Louis on top of himself, not breaking the sweet kiss they shared. Louis didn't mind it at all, he straddled Harry and placed his hands on Harry's cheeks, continuing to kiss him passionately.

The moment Harry moved his hips up against Louis, smaller boy pulled away, cheeks flushed and breathing heavy. ''H-Harry,what are you doing?'' He asked, a little insecure about all that.

Harry smiled at Louis' innocence and caressed his cheek gently. ''Don't worry, baby. It's what couples do. Trust me.''

Louis bit his lip, inwardly debating with himself about this. Would Harry be mad if he says no?

Probably. Louis can't risk it.

He nodded, suddenly nervous and shy. ''O-Okay.''

Harry smirked, laying Louis down and getting on top of him, wanting him to feel safe and comfortable with Harry.

Louis was feeling anything but comfortable. ''Will it hurt a lot?'' He asked quietly, biting his lip as he glanced up at Harry, barely being able to see him because the lights were off and the only source of light were the street lights.

Harry began placing kisses on Louis' neck again. ''Don't worry, it will hurt a little at the beginning but you'll get used to it eventually. ''

Louis whimpered. ''I don't want to do it.'' He said quickly, wanting his first time to be filled with love and not regret the next morning.

Harry frowned a little but stopped. ''Baby,why did you agree to it then?'' He asked softly,gazing into Louis' eyes.

Louis blushed,glad that Harry can't see it in the dark. ''I just...I thought it would make you happy.''

''Yes,baby. It would. But only if it would make you happy too. You don't have to make my every wish come true.'' Harry explained, getting off of Louis and just deciding to cuddle the smaller boy.

''So,you won't leave me because of this?'' Louis asked, quite surprised. He heard a lot of stories about Harry's relationships and there wasn't a single one in which he didn't have sex. Or at least, that's what Louis heard.

Harry raised an eyebrow at that. ''No. Why would I?'' He frowned, a bit hurt that Louis thinks so low of him but then again it was Harry's fault. He built an image of a bad boy,womanizer and homophobe.

The truth was, Harry was just trying to fit in. Or maybe stand out. He figured, if he gets on top of school's social pyramid, no one would dare to bully him or to even dare and look at him wrong.

''Lou, I love you. Don't think I'm with you just because of the sex. I'm not that horrible as you may think I am. Just give me a chance to prove myself before you jump to conclusions.''

Louis just nodded, now really embarrassed he assumed something so bad about Harry. ''I'm s-sorry. I love you too.''

***

It has been two months since Harry has had sex last time. Two months and Louis still 'wasn't ready'.

Harry was getting frustrated a little.

It wasn't like him to stay with someone without having sex. If bitch wasn't giving him any, bitch had to go.

But this was different. He actually had real feelings for Louis and he cared about Louis. He was willing to wait as long as Louis needed.

But it was too damn hard. Especially during their makeout sessions. Louis wasn't even aware what he was doing to Harry. He wasn't aware that the way his curvy body moved against him, was driving Harry crazy.

Zayn kept telling about good chicks he banged every other day and it only made Harry more miserable. He was the one in a relationship! He was the one who's supposed to get more sex!

Harry's nerves were put to the test.

Harry's loyalty was put to the test.

Especially now when he cornered school's slut and was hitting on her. Of course,she liked it and was ready to give Harry some but Harry just awkwardly backed out and walked away. He just couldn't bring himself to cheat. Not on Louis.

Before Harry even processed what was going on, he was walking into the library where Louis always was during the lunch.

Louis was just putting some books on the table when Harry surprised him by pressing himself against Louis from behind, making Louis gasp and turn. His eyes fell to the ground,avoiding Harry's lust-filled ones.

''Lou, I need you-'', he whined, trying to rub against Louis.

Louis blushed,biting his lip nervously,liking all the physical attention he was getting from Harry lately.

''Harry, we are in school, anyone could come in. Just calm down,I-I told you I'm not ready.''

Harry groaned and set Louis on the table,getting between Louis' legs, his large hands now gripping Louis' bum. Louis' body was always responding so beautifully to Harry's. He would shiver whenever he'd feel Harry's fingertips running down his skin. He'd blush and whimper at lovebites Harry would leave on him.

''Harry..'' Louis whined quietly, cheeks flushed and breathing hot and heavy. His hips were involuntarily moving against Harry and it just turned them both on even more.

By this point, neither one of them cared where they were, they were only focused on each other.

Harry's shirt was laying on the floor, forgotten and unimportant. Louis' hands all over Harry's body while their lips kept fighting for dominance, both swollen and bruised already.

Harry's belt was slowly being removed while Harry's hands explored Louis' thick thighs, traveling up.

''What the fuck,Styles!!?'' Their hot make out session was interrupted by a very familiar voice. It made both boys freeze and stare at each other's eyes for a moment,not daring to look at the person.


	7. Changes

''What the fuck,Styles!!?'' Their hot make out session was interrupted by a very familiar voice. It made both boys freeze and stare at each other's eyes for a moment,not daring to look at the person.  
  
The truth was, they never really came out to anyone except Niall who was gay himself so he accepted them easily. This could be the big turn in their lives. Whole school could find out. They both would become everyone's targets.   
  
Harry turned to look at Zayn who had a shocked expression stuck on his face, his eyes focusing on blushing Louis before he glanced at Harry,waiting for an explanation.  
  
''I...uh,we..Louis and I..uhm..'' Harry scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, unsure how to explain.  
  
''What the fuck do you think you're doing with that fag!?'' Zayn snapped,making Louis whimper quietly.   
  
Harry's automatic reaction would be to punch Zayn but that would only make everything worse so he just yelled. ''Don't call him that!''  
  
Zayn raised an eyebrow. ''Who do you think you are to yell at me like that!? You'd be nothing without me. When you got into this school you were nothing but the dirt  on the ground. You should be thankful I helped your stupid ass. This is how you thank me? By being a cocksucker and yelling at me!?''  
  
There was a long silence. Harry didn't know what to say anymore. He didn't want to be at the bottom of the school's social pyramid again. It was either be on top with Zayn or be down with Louis.  
  
''You really want this peasant to pull you down with himself? Come on, Harry, you're better than that. Put your shirt back on and come with me, maybe I forgive you and maybe I won't ruin your life.'' Zayn said,crossing his arms.

Louis waited for Harry to stand up for him, for himself, for both of them. But that never happened. Harry didn't even glance at Louis. He just picked his clothes up and followed Zayn out.

Louis swallowed thickly,feeling tears burning in his eyes. So much about promises about them staying together forever and fighting against haters. He couldn't believe what just happened. Tears just began running down his cheeks, his whole body shaking. Millions of questions invaded his mind.

What has he even expected? Harry staying with someone like him? Like that would ever happen.

But those two months seemed so perfect. Harry told him so many nice things, promised him the eternity, swore he loves him more than anything and anyone in the universe. The worst thing is, Louis trusted him completely.  

This is what happens when you trust people. 

This is what happens when you have hope.

Is it worth all the pain?

~***~

Niall opened the door, his blonde hair messy and ruffled and he was shirtless. 

''I'm sorry I didn't call before coming here.'' Louis sniffled, thinking Niall was just taking a nap so that's why he looked like a mess.

''It's fine, Lou. What's wrong?'' Niall frowned,letting Louis in, already sensing it has something to do with Harry. He was hundred percent sure it's about Harry. He never trusted the curly haired boy. He couldn't. For Niall, Harry has been and always will be a heartless bully.

''Harry.'' Louis whimpered, confirming Niall's thoughts. 

Niall gritted his teeth in anger,clenching his fists. ''What did he do?''  
  
Louis was about to speak up when he saw Liam walking in. Also shirtless. He wrapped his arms around Niall's waist from behind, his chin resting on Niall's shoulder.  
  
Louis glanced at Niall, blinking confusedly. ''Do I want to know?'' He sighed.

''Probably not.'' Niall shrugged innocently.

''Hello, Louis.'' Liam said calmly to which Louis just shook his head,sighing. 

''We can talk some other time, you two just have fun.'' Louis mumbled,getting up.

''Don't worry, we finished few minutes ago.'' Liam shrugged , to which Niall smacked him playfully. ''Shut up.'' he blushed.

Louis shook his head, smiling softly at them. ''You're unbelievable.''

''Thank you.'' Niall grinned.

''It wasn't a compliment, you cheeky leprechaun.'' Louis said, forgetting about Harry for for few minutes. That's what was so special about Niall. He was helping without even realising .

  
Louis spent the night giggling and talking to Niall and Liam. Now that they weren't in school, Liam seemed like a really cool guy, relaxed and chill. Unlike Niall who was full of energy and always laughing at random things.

Night filled with laughter was a really good therapy for Louis because the next morning he didn't wake up with bags under his eyes because of the night spent in tears. It was a whole new thing for Louis but he liked it.

No headache, just a bit of a heartache.

_New Kik message from Hazza69!_

Ignore.

_Two new Kik messages from Hazza69!_

Sigh.

_Three new Kik messages from Hazza69!_

Groan.

''What does he want?'' Niall asked, sipping on his coffee. 

Louis just shrugged silently, sadly staring at the broken screen of his phone.

It was Saturday so Liam was still hanging around with them, really glad he doesn't have to go to work after the night before. He hummed. ''Harry is that curly boy,right? The one that hangs out with Zack or Zarry or whatever?''

Louis nodded once again, not bothering to correct the name.

''I heard a lot about him. Nothing good though. How did you even end up with someone like that? You deserve so much better, I hope you know that.'' Liam frowned,rubbing Louis' back gently.

Niall nodded in agreement but Louis shook his head. ''I can't really pick who I'm going to fall for. You of all people would know that.'' he mumbled.

''That's true..'' Liam said silently, nodding to himself, a sigh leaving past his lips. ''I was just trying to say he's not worth of your nerves or tears.''

Louis whined quietly when he heard his phone buzzing, meaning he got more messages. And he knew all were from Harry because he doesn't text anyone else except him and Niall.

''I wish I could hate him after this but I can't. I don't understand why he picked his reputation over me after everything he promised me.'' He whimpered, feeling so close to tears but he tried to fight them away,not wanting to look weaker than he is.

Niall was tempted to say 'I told you so' but he rather bit his tongue.   
   
''Just few more months and you're done with school. You won't have to see him ever again. Everything will change. Trust me. You'll get over him in no time.'' Liam smiled softly at Louis, trying to cheer him up.

And Liam was right. Everything will change. 

Including Louis.


	8. Pretty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.

''You like pretending you're a girl, huh!?'' Zayn yelled, chuckling as he started smearing make up onto Louis' face while Harry was ripping Louis' clothes off, trying to put a skirt on Louis.

Louis was crying loudly, trying to squirm out of their grip. He was barely able to breathe, just wanting to die already. Of course, Harry and Zayn saw Louis' scars covering his small pale body. They didn't care, they didn't bother to stop torturing him.

This was going on for a week now, after Harry told Zayn the whole story what happened with him and Louis and how Louis pretended to be a girl. They'd drag him into the school bathroom and make his life even more miserable.

''Do you like this make up, Louis?'' Zayn grinned, shoving him towards the mirror. The reflection in it made Louis cry even more, breathing heavily and shaking.

Harry didn't look at Louis, he stared at the ground, hating what he is doing but he had to. Zayn was really popular and could easily make Harry's life miserable. He knew he was acting like a complete garbage but he cared about himself too much.

Louis shook his head quickly,whimpering loudly. ''N-No.'' He sniffled, making Zayn chuckle and shove him towards the toilet. ''Well, let's take it off then, yeah?'' He grinned, grabbing Louis by his hair before trying to push Louis' head into the toilet. Louis struggled, trying to get out of Zayn's grip. ''N-No,please don't, I'm sorry!'' He cried in panic but it was of no use. His head was shoved into the toilet,into the dirty water.

Once Zayn was satisfied,he let go of him and threw him on the floor, letting him curl there, panting and crying. Louis' body was shaking and he was hiding his face away from them. His hair was wet from the water in the toilet. 

Zayn kicked him in the stomach, his expression now serious, without his usual smirk or evil chuckle. ''If you tell anyone about this, I will fucking kill you, do you understand that?'' He growled. Harry swallowed thickly, feeling afraid for Louis but Louis just didn't care. He'd have nothing against dying. ''I don't care..'' He whispered but Zayn didn't let himself lose his nerves now. The bell rang and he had to go. Not to class, he had to go meet up with his friends behind the school.

The school bathroom was now empty, only small sniffles echoed through the room. Suddenly the door opened and whistling filled the room. Louis tried to stay as silent as possible,not wanting to drag attention to himself, especially not now when he was a complete mess.

''Is someone there?'' The voice asked when the boy heard Louis' sniffling in one of the stalls.

Louis realised that it was Niall and he let himself burst into tears,struggling to sit up. ''N-Niall..'' He whimpered.

Niall quickly zipped up his pants and opened the stall from where he heard Louis' voice. ''Lou!? Oh my god,baby..'' He gasped, kneeling down to scoop Louis into his arms. ''What did they do to you?'' Niall frowned, holding Louis close as Louis cried into his chest, not wanting to speak.

The blonde boy stood up,helping Louis up too. He brought him to Liam's office. Liam looked up from the papers he was grading, about to get mad because someone entered without knocking but he stopped himself as soon as he saw his boyfriend carrying in Louis who was wet and half naked with make up smeared all over his face.

''Oh my God! Louis, what happened!?'' Liam stood up, helping Niall to put Louis on one of the chairs in Liam's office. Niall was beyond furious now. He couldn't believe someone could be so cruel to do this to another person. ''Liam, we have to throw them out of this school! This is outrageous! Look at him! This is the third time this week!'' He yelled,throwing his hands in the air in anger.

Liam nodded. ''I know, I know. Calm down, love. We'll think of something. Just..just let's get him cleaned now, yeah?'' He murmured. Niall nodded, helping Liam to dry Louis and give him some clothes from school's lost-and-found.

Niall cleaned Louis' face with wet wipes and sighed,letting Louis rest his head against Niall's shoulder. ''I can't do this anymore..'' Louis whispered, barely audible for anyone to hear it.

Liam was making some phone calls, yelling at some people and then talking in normal tone while fixing his posture, hating when he loses his nerves.

''I got it settled. Zayn and Harry will be called into the principal's office after she talks to Louis.'' Liam announced.

Louis' eyes widened and he shook his head, whimpering. ''N-No! No. No, they said..'' He began breathing heavily again, his small hands gripping Niall's hand. ''Niall, you have to stop this. They will..they will kill me if they find out I told someone.''

Niall frowned, ''Louis, what are you talking about? No one will kill you.''

''Z-Zayn said he'll kill me if I tell.'' Louis cried.

''You have to tell that too. He can go to jail for that, you know?'' Liam said.

Louis sighed, holding onto Niall. ''I don't want that. I just want them to stop. I want Harry.'' 

Niall shook his head. ''There's no way in hell I will ever let that jerk go anywhere near you again!'' He said sternly.

Louis looked up at Niall. ''But it's not his fault.'' He sniffled. ''Zayn is forcing him to do all this.''

''Yeah? And he can't say no?! He's just a heartless asshole, that's Harry Styles we knew and that's what Harry Styles really is! I wasn't wrong when I told you to stay away from him. See what happened? '' Niall yelled at Louis, just really frustrated with the situation and sad because he had to watch his best friend so hurt. 

Louis stayed silent, not wanting to admit Niall is right. He just wanted his relationship back. He knew the side of Harry others didn't know. The most wonderful side of Harry. But obviously the darker side of him is stronger. Obviously Harry's love for Louis wasn't strong enough. Obviously Louis failed at being happy again.


	9. Changed

In few months, Louis was forced to find a new school for himself. The bullying got out of hands and he was so close to just ending his life. He felt like that was the only option. Louis' mother was always good at noticing when Louis was hiding something from her and so one day she got him to finally talk. Both of them ended up in tears but they made a deal. They are running away. Louis from his bullies, his mother from drunken scapegrace of her so called husband. They are starting a new life. Away from everything. As soon as they were home alone, they packed their things along with Louis' sisters' things. They didn't have much time but they managed to escape, leaving nothing but a little 'fuck you' note for Louis' dad when he comes back home from whatever bar he went to.

And there they are, two years later, in their cute little house, happier than ever. Everything finally seemed perfect except the fact that Louis wasn't his insecure little self he used to be. He was loud, sassy and confident. He got rid of his huge glasses, replacing them with eye contacts. He got a bit braver with choosing clothes in color and he even dared to wear skirts sometimes. He was still cute little Louis but he definetely wasn't afraid of the world anymore. He wanted people to see what he has to give and show. He focused on studying, going to all kinds of auditions for either singing or acting. He played few smaller roles in some musicals but he wasn't satisfied with that. He had bigger plans for himself. There was no way he was ever letting anyone control him again. He was being himself and he was loving it.  

See, Louis realised his dreams won't come true if he just dreams. He had to work for it. He followed something that Bill Cosby once said: ''In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.'' Don't think it was easy to stop being afraid. No. It took time to become stronger than his fears. It took a lot of strength and sometimes he was tempted to stop trying. Luckily, Johannah was always there to give him a little shove, she was there to pick him up if he fell down. ''You didn't fail, love. You just..found a couple of ways that just won't work. But what do we do when we see an obsticle? We sure as hell don't sit in front of it and wait for it to move. Jump over it, crawl under it, walk around it. Try. That's all that matters at the end of the day, Lou. Losers aren't the ones who didn't succeed. Losers are the ones who didn't try.'' She would say and give him one of her warmest smiles. The kind of smiles that made Louis stronger, the kind that made him want to keep trying. 

His mother's words stuck in his mind for years and now when he was on top of the world at the age of twenty two, her words were still there. She wasn't. But he knew.. he knew she was watching him from the skies above. He knew she was smiling because the sun was shining and birds were singing. 

Louis was back in the town he met Harry at. He never forgot him. But he also never forgot what he did to him. He just decided not to think about, though he never could trust guys anymore. So he never stuck around with one guy for too long. He'd leave them before they'd leave him. It was easier and less painful.

The reason he came back is the big photoshoot he is suposed to do. Some magazine wanted him on their front page. 

Louis walked into the large grey building, taking in a shaky breath. He was always nervous before photoshoots because his look was the only thing that mattered in that moment. Usually if he had a bad hair day or something, he'd still pull it off because he'd drag people's thoughts away with his personality. He can't do that over the photos so he always made sure everything on him was perfect before he dared to stand in front of the camera. Even though he still worried he'll look dumb in photos. Nothing a little Photoshop can't fix, right?

When the elevator finally brought him to the highest floor, he walked out, keeping a little sway in his hips as he walked down the long hallway, searching for the studio where he was supposed to meet with the photographer. He frowned, huffing when he walked into the empty studio. ''How unprofessional..'' He mumbled to himself, turning in surprise when he heard a cough. It was a woman, standing at the door and smiling at Louis. ''Good day, mr. Tomlinson.'' She said softly.

Louis nodded at her, returning the kind smile. ''Hi. How are you?''

''Really good, thank you. A bit excited I get to do your hair before the photoshoot.'' The woman said. ''I'm Dallas.'' They shook hands and she led Louis to the seat and as she began fixing his hair, Louis just had to ask. ''Where is the photographer? He said 4 pm.''

Dallas bit her lip, focused on her work. ''I'm not sure, sir. He should be here any minute now.''

Louis gasped in surprise, nearly jumping when the door opened quickly and someone ran in. ''I-I am so sorry I'm late! T-This wasn't supposed to be my shoot but the p-photographer who was suppossed to be h-here had to be somewhere else and the company called me like twenty minutes ago and I live on the o-other side of the to-..'' The man stopped talking when he saw those blue eyes he hasn't seen in years. ''Louis..'' he whispered breathlessly, not believing what he sees.

Louis' eyes widened as he stared at the one person he hoped he'll never see again. Harry. He was absolutely stunning, wearing his curls in a bun, his skinny black jeans showing off his long legs. He was wearing a nice shirt with flowers, holding a camera and a cup of coffee in his hands.

''It's Mr. Tomlinson for you.'' Louis mumbled quietly and turned to the mirror again, letting Dallas finish his hair and make up. 


	10. Through lenses

''Alright, uh... Chin up a little bit.'' Harry said softly, watching Louis through the camera.

 Louis tilted his head slightly up. 

''Look at the camera.'' Harry spoke again. Communicating with your model is very important if you want to do a good shooting. He fixed the light then and took few more pictures of Louis in that pose.

Dallas was still very confused about the whole situation. ''So how do you two know each other?'' She asked curiously, standing beside Harry who was too embarrassed to tell her the whole story. It's none of her business anyway. ''We're in the middle of something.'' He said, hoping she won't ask later.

''Lou-..Mr. Tomlinson.'' Harry corrected himself. ''Now we'll go for something more...natural. Casual. Relax your face, yeah? No expressions. Look wherever you want, think about whatever you want. I need you to just be as natural as you can.''

Louis stared at Harry for few seconds, trying to figure out what would be natural enough.

''Try to forget about the camera.'' Harry smiled, seeing Louis eyeing it like it was some sort of a monster. 

After few more shots, Harry looked through the pictures on the small screen of his camera. He nodded a little, humming, pretty satisfied with what they got. ''I think we did a pretty good job.'' He commented. Louis padded to Harry, wanting to see the photos too. ''Delete this one. It's a complete disaster..'' He demanded.

Harry deleted the photo even though he quite liked that one. ''Uhm..do you want to go grab a cup of coffee with me now? So we can talk about..stuff..'' 

Louis raised an eyebrow. ''We have nothing to talk about, Harry.'' He huffed, crossing his arms. ''Go with Zayn.''

''Zayn's in jail for years now.'' Harry said.

Louis just shrugged, not really caring. ''He got what he deserved.''

''Please, just come with me, let me explain some things to you.''  Harry tried again.

''Explain what!? That you were screwing with my life because your stupid friend Zayn told you so!?'' Louis snapped, yelling at Harry, feeling adrenaline rushing through his body. ''Don't even bother. I don't want to see you ever again. I don't want you to be a part of my life, Harry. We can have strictly professional relationship and that is all. Do you understand!?'' 

Harry looked down at his feet, unable to look into Louis' eyes, knowing he messed up too much. ''Yeah..of course. Sorry. I,uh..it was nice to see you again.'' He said quietly, taking his things and leaving the studio. 

Louis had to sit down for a moment, feeling like he'll cry. Dallas put her hand on Louis' shoulder, a little freaked out with what she heard. ''Are you alright, sir?'' She asked quietly. Louis nodded, sighing. ''Yeah, of course. Sorry you had to see that. Harry and I went to school together. We weren't very fond of each other.'' He mumbled, standing up. ''It's nothing to worry about.''

***

''Are you out of your freaking mind, Luke? What if he's some terrorist o-or straight!'' Louis was walking around his apartment with a phone with his hand. 

''Oh come on, don't be silly. He's a friend of my friend and she said he's a really nice guy.'' Luke said. ''It's 21st century, for God's sake. Blind dating isn't something unusual.''

''Well, if he is such a nice guy, why is he single?'' Louis huffed.

Luke groaned, Louis could basically hear him rolling his eyes over the phone. ''Come on, it's one date. If you won't like him, you don't have to see him ever again.'' 

Louis sighed, throwing himself on the bed, staying silent for a moment. He has nothing to lose. ''Fine. One date. But what should I wear?''

''Yeeees, that's my boy, go get sooome!'' Luke grinned. 

''Noo, shut up.'' Louis rolled his eyes. ''Help a sister out, Luke.'' He chuckled.

''Alright, I'll be right there. Take a shower so you won't smell and make me a cup of coffee. See you.'' Luke said and hung up.

Louis rolled his eyes fondly, putting his phone away and getting up, not really pleased with that but not like anyone asks him anything these days.

After a nice hot shower, Louis padded around in just briefs, going to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee for Luke. With lots of sugar. Just how he likes it.

Luke was kind of replacement for Niall. He still heard sometimes from him but they drifted apart. They used to be inseparable but now their friendship consisted of 'Merry Christmas' and 'Happy Birthday' types of messages. Maybe a few 'Hi, how are you?' messages here and there but that's all.

''Honey, I'm home.'' Luke called, walking into Louis' house, chuckling. 

''Did you bring me candy?'' Louis asked from the kitchen.

''Not this time, sorry, mate.'' Luke said, taking his shoes off because Louis didn't want his new carpet to get ruined.

''Leave.'' Louis said, standing in the hallway now with crossed arms and serious face but they both ended up giggling and hugging. That's just how their friendship was. 

''Dude, we're literally friendship goals, you know?'' Luke grinned. 

''Stop calling me dude. It's cringy.'' Louis said and actually cringed.

''My time to cringe, what the fuck is that awful excuse of what you call underwear? It's hideous.'' Luke pursed his lips, glancing down at Louis' briefs.

Louis pouted. ''Shut up, all my panties are in the washing machine.'' He said, leading Luke into the kitchen so he could take his cup before they headed to Louis' room. Luke settled on the bed and Louis disappeared in the closet, getting the first combination on. It was skinny yellow jeans and a black t-shirt, walking out like that to show it off to Luke.

Luke stared at Louis, sighing in disappointment. ''Louis, I will shoot you. What are you? A bee?'' 

''Fine, fine, I get it. No need to be mean.'' Louis pouted and got back into his closet while Luke sipped on his coffee.

''Should I just go with a normal black t-shirt and jeans? I mean, I don't want to leave an impression of trying too hard.'' Louis said, sighing as he dug through tons of clothing he owned.

''Hmm, well, that's not a bad idea but what if you'll actually like him? You'll never forgive yourself for not dressing properly.'' Luke said.

''Yeah, true.. but I said only one date so fuck it.'' Louis mumbled, pulling out the shirt and his ripped jeans, putting them on and showing himself to Luke.

''Okay, it's nothing special but you still look bomb as fuck.'' Luke commented, his eyes travelling all over Louis. ''Also your bum looks amaaazing.'' He grinned. ''Louis, no!'' He yelled when he noticed Louis was about to pull his Vans on his bare feet. ''Put some socks on because your feet will fucking stink.'' He said, making Louis whine but listen to his advice, not really wanting to wear socks but also not wanting his date to think he has insanitary habits.

''Good boy. Now let's fix this nest you call hair..'' Luke mumbled, getting up and starting to comb Louis' hair and run his fingers through it, trying to make it look at least a little bit decent. ''I'll take you to this restaurant you're supposed to meet at. No worries, you'll have a private booth, no paparazzi or any crap like that.'' 

Louis smiled and nodded. ''Thank you. Promise you'll come pick me up when I call you?''

''Sure thing. Let's go.''

***

Louis was dropped off at a pretty little restaurant. Nothing too glamorous, nothing too crowded. The waitor took him to the private booth Luke was talking about and he already ordered himself a nice little glass of wine. Just so he wouldn't be so tense when his date shows up. 

He almost finished the whole glass and was pretty occupied with his phone once he heard someone finally sitting down and spilling a string of apologies for being late.

Louis looked up and he wished the Earth would just swallow him alive. ''You've got to be kidding me..'' He mumbled.


End file.
